Archive for the 'Collage sheets' Category

Folksy Friday and new STEAMPUNK collage sheet

Published on August 13, 2010 in Collage sheets, Etsy and Folksy. 0 Comments Tags: , .

My Folksy Friday collection today is inspired by blue and cream tones.

Gothic Aqua Bracelet, by Johnny Dogg Designs Lavender in Blue and White Jug – Fine Art Photographic Print, by Eyeshoot Photography Annabel Mini Necklace, by handmadecharlie Unscented ~ Natural Shea Butter Soap, by Natural Bubbles Ocean Rose Ring, by Adrienne’s Jewellery Blue & White Lavender Cushion, by The England Under the Floorboards

And here’s a new collage sheet: Victorian steampunk ladies. Rarr! I’m pretty chuffed about these designs – I had so much fun putting them together, and I love the way they’ve turned out. These tags are in a new easier-to-cut shape, ideal for hang tags or gift tags. The sheet also includes a bookmark – just download, snippy-snip, and add a bit of ribbon or string. See my Etsy shop or my Folksy shop for purchase details.



Steampunk Victorian Ladies

The Last Waltz

Published on August 4, 2010 in Collage sheets, General and Reviews. 2 Comments

I apologise for any downtime you may have noticed on Friday and Saturday. I’ve been in the process of switching web hosts, and man oh MAN it is so COMPLICATED. Why is it so complicated? Seriously, EVERYONE has a website these days, and surely changing hosting companies and transferring domains is something that happens all the damn time. How can the process still be so arcane and difficult? What with the DNS nameservers and the ISP tags and creating new FTP accounts and procuring a single griffin’s feather and “answer me these questions three” and so on and so forth, I nearly broke my brain. It didn’t help that I use WordPress for this blog, which is generally awesome, but being open source it is rather DIY, and involves doing things with SQL databases and PHPMyAdmin. I know, right?? Anyway it’s all done now, thank god, and my hosting fees have dropped massively.

Simon recently bought me the soundtrack to The Last Walz. It’s funny how much I’ve come to love The Last Waltz: during my teenage years, I would have had a hard time deciding who I hated more, The Band or Supertramp. (I still fuckin’ hate Supertramp. Screw you, Supertramp.) You have to understand that in Canada, so-called ‘Classic Rock’ is ubiquitous and comprises a melange of the most obvious and/or annoying hits from a small selection of good bands like Led Zeppelin and a much larger selection of unbelievably shit bands like Nazareth, Boston and Journey. (And Supertramp. DAMN YOU, SUPERTRAMP!) Classic Rock, to me, is the soundtrack to Labatt Blue in bottles, Trans Ams, mullets, moustaches, tight jeans and unironic trucker caps. And of course, since The Band are both Classic Rock AND Canadian, they are constitutionally guaranteed radio play on every single station in the country at least once an hour. By the time I was fifteen years old I had probably heard ‘The Weight’ approximately eighty thousand times, and I HATED that damn song.

So when Simon started trying to get me to watch The Last Waltz, I was all, “HA! Yeah right.” But he’s persistent, bless him, and eventually I sat down and watched a few minutes of it. And then I couldn’t stop watching it. Holy shit, what an amazing bunch of musicians. And what a lineup of guests. I even love the interview-y bits, where everyone involved (including Scorsese) is very clearly stuffed to the gills with enormous quantities of drugs. Canadian Rasputin (sorry, I mean Garth Hudson) in particular is highly amusing.

Ironically, the Band song I historically liked the least is now my favourite song in the concert, thanks to the Staple Singers. Hearing them sing ‘The Weight’ gives me goosebumps EVERY SINGLE TIME, for reals. (And did you know that there’s all sorts of geeky debate about the meaning of the lyrics? Interestinger and interestinger.)

AND, as it turns out, Robbie Robertson? Was a bit of a hottie. Who knew? He is hella sexy in Last Waltz, despite the bouffant hair. I’ve figured out why, too: his guitar gurn is blatantly a preview of his sex face. It’s a shame he’s gone so puffy in recent years.

Finally, a new collage sheet…see my Etsy shop for details!



Luscious Vintage Ovals

More bits about moving

Published on June 24, 2010 in Collage sheets and Etsy. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

We no longer have a garden. The garden at our old house was gigantic and field-adjacent and very pretty, and I will miss it. However, we now have an enclosed courtyard with white walls, which is a total suntrap and very Mediterranean and I-motherf’ing-DEAL for barbequeing. And it puts a lot less pressure on me to actually garden. I like ‘garden’ very much as a noun but not quite so much as a verb. I think of myself as a green thumb sort of person, but I’m much better with potted plants than free-range. So the courtyard definitely falls into the ‘plus’ category. (Added bonus: our house adjoins a passageway leading from our street to the centre of town, so we get to eavesdrop from behind the wall on wonderfully random snippets of conversation. But not whole conversations, which are just annoying, because people as a rule are stupid. This is key.)

Simon is very good at practical, get-shit-done stuff. When we moved into the new house, we tried to put the refrigerator in the designated refrigerator area next to the cabinets, but it was about an inch too wide. “Oh woe!” I though. “The refrigerator does not fit! We shall have to sell it and buy a smaller one.” But Simon just got on the phone to the letting agency and told them we’d need the built-in cabinets shifted. I didn’t know that was even possible. Did you know that was even possible? Apparently it is. A handyman showed up one morning, and a few hours later the fridge fit properly. (The handyman was awesome, too: he happily accepted a can of lager at ten in the morning, and very helpfully told Simon where ‘the snatch’ hangs out in St Ives. I myself would like to see this St Ives Snatch, for by all accounts it is a fearsome creature!)

And now…a collage sheet. These leafy, flowery squares are 2.5″x2.5″ – great for extra large pendants, magnets, cardmaking, scapbooking and all manner of creative output!

LEAVES, TREES, BRANCHES, FLOWERS 2.5in LARGE Squares Digital Collage Sheet - 0077
LEAVES, TREES, BRANCHES, FLOWERS 2.5in LARGE Squares Digital Collage Sheet - 0077
See my Etsy shop for details.

Folksy Friday: accessories

Published on April 16, 2010 in Collage sheets and Folksy. 2 Comments Tags: .

Folksy Friday! No theme today, just some gorgeous accessories that caught my eye…


Café Earrings, by Lazy Giraffe Blue Glass Wire Wrap, by Gimme That Thing
Princess Necklace, by Love Letters Vintage Inspired Jewellery Cuff/Wallet Wrist Band, by Beautiful Skin
Hearts, by Zoe-East Blazing Lantern Necklace, by Owl on the Sill

Here’s a new collage sheet – I found an amazing set of vintage encyclopaedia illustrations of birds’ eggs and combined them with rich blue-green grunge textures. Visit my Etsy shop (US) or my Folksy shop (UK) for purchase details!



Beautiful Birds’ Eggs

I need three positives

Published on April 7, 2010 in Collage sheets, Etsy and Reviews. 1 Comment Tags: , .

Tesco’s? TESCO.

This is something that has always bothered me: when people add an unnecessary apostrophe-S to the end of shop names. It is not ‘Tesco’s’. It is ‘Tesco’. THAT’S WHAT IT SAYS ON THE SIGN. The weird thing is, though, that some shops consistently get this treatment and some never do. I hear ‘Tesco’s’ all the time, but I never hear ‘Waitrose’s’ or ‘Somerfield’s’. Marks & Spencer gets turned into ‘Marks & Spencer’s’ almost invariably (yes, it really is just ‘Marks & Spencer’), but Primark is always just Primark, H&M is always just H&M. Why? WHYYYYYYYY? What does this bizarre hive-mindedness mean? At least MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES, people.

Alice in Wonderland

I went to see this with Simon and the Stepdaughter. We didn’t read any reviews beforehand (deliberately), and I was about 50% optimistic that it might not be crap: Johnny Depp! Tim Burton! Helena Bonham Carter! 3D! Johnny Depp! Johnny Depp! (Yes, Johnny Depp is SO HOT that he equals three positives.) But…damn. It is crap. Holy god, it is SO CRAP. I mean, it looked cool, and the 3D was way-way-super-cool, but about twenty minutes in I experienced a wave of profound existential despair at the prospect of having to sit through the rest of the film. I actually tried to fall asleep, but couldn’t. The writing is so bad it’s almost insulting. No, scratch that: it IS insulting. Lewis Carroll, grave, spinning; you get the idea. They took about six basic ideas from the books (rabbit hole, Mad Hatter, Queen of Hearts, Cheshire Cat, Jabberwocky) and then filled in the gaps where the PLOT SHOULD HAVE BEEN with some wooly Walt Disney bullshit about how Alice is the Chosen One destined to slay the Jabberwocky but has to BELIEVE IN HERSELF, or something? I dunno. I was really, really trying not to pay attention. On the plus side, the film made me want to read the Alice books again, if only to get the foul taste out of my mouth.

Et voila some new collage sheets POUR VOUS, mes amis! I really like my skull-headed ladies: I combined Victorian fashion drawings with medical diagrams of skulls, and the result is sort of Tim Burton-y. BUT IN A GOOD WAY. See my Etsy shop for details…


Skull-Headed Ladies


Inspirational Words

Collage sheet – Loteria Cards Part 1

Published on February 17, 2010 in Collage sheets and Lists. 0 Comments Tags: .

Simon has recently returned from a two-week holiday in the States, mostly spent snowboarding at Lake Tahoe. I did not accompany him because a) snowboarding NO NO NO and b) house to myself for two weeks OH YES PLEASE THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Here is a list of things I’ve done in his absence:

1) Survived for nearly a week solely on ramen noodles, frozen pizza, processed cheese slices and SMASH! (If loving Smash is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. I especially love the name – as in: “Wot’s that then?” “S’mash, innit?”) Apparently when left on my own I revert to a collegiate diet.
2) Created an unholy mess, just because I could. We’re talking dinner plates left on the floor near the sofa, a trail of dirty clothes leading from bathroom to bedroom, the whole shmessy shebang. There’s something comforting about wallowing in your own filth, isn’t there?
3) Got bored of unholy mess and cleaned the living fuck out of the house. I did a full Clean Sweep on my studio: pulled everything out of every drawer, spread it all out on the floor, then sorted, labelled, filed, rearranged, recycled, reframed and repurposed to my little heart’s content. I even went so far as to cover shoe boxes in decorative paper to make prettier storage for my shelves. Like Martha Stewart on Methedrine, I was. I went at it for a solid eight hours at least.
4) Developed a painful crick in my neck due to manic eight-hour cleaning frenzy.
5) Made some new paintings! Since Adobe came along and blew my mind, I’ve worked pretty much exclusively in digital. Painting is just way too slow, TOO SLOW! and not editable enough. When I do paint, it’s mostly just to make passably look-at-able things to fill gaps on the walls. But last week I got an itchy paintbrush finger, so I hauled all my paints and jars and brushes and canvases down to the lounge and sat in front of the telly til the wee hours painting painting painting and now I have THREE new pieces to hang up. I’d forgotten how much fun it is to pick bits of gesso out of my hair.
6) Watched procedural dramas non-stop until my eyes bled.

The list of things I did NOT do during Simon’s absence includes working, blogging (natch), and running around the house in my pants like Tom Cruise in Risky Business, which I totally wanted to do but was stopped by a lack of hardwood flooring and Y-fronts.

Here’s a new collage sheet. I’m really excited about this one – ever since the lovely and talented Emily turned me on to Loteria cards, I’ve been trying to think of a way to incorporate them into my artwork. This is the first in a series of collage sheets based on the classic Don Clemente set of cards – I’ve taken the traditional images and made them into original collages using genuine vintage illustrations. See my Etsy shop for details…


Loteria Cards – Part 1

I give you…the Meta-List!

Published on January 22, 2010 in Collage sheets, Etsy and Lists. 1 Comment

This is a lazy, lazy post: a list made up of other lists. These are some of my favourite McSweeney’s lists. (I have a big website crush on McSweeney’s. McSweeney’s is cool.)

1. Things Not Overheard at a Conceptual-Art Gallery Opening (“Well, that’s obvious, but what do the other three midgets represent?”)
2. Actual Superheroes From the Pages of International and Obscure Comic Books Who Are Unlikely to See Their Origin Stories Developed Into Movies (“Canadian Ninja”)
3. My Attempt to Further Depress a Particularly Unfunny List, Sent to Me by Someone at Work, by Making Random Remarks (“Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S&M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag. This would make an interesting TV sitcom.“)
4. YouTube Comment or e.e. cummings? (“stunned. i. am. stunned. every question speaks to us”)
5. Things Koala Bears Would Say (“No, you’re the cutest ever.”)
6. Terrible Poetry Jokes (“POUND (to Whitman): Shut the fuck up.”)

…and some of my favourite Book of Ratings lists. (O Lorre! Whither have you departed? Come back and carry on rating my world!)
1. The A-Team (“If you’re going to name yourself after a body part, make it one you can hit people with.”)
2. Artificial People (“Remove their heads so we can see what we’d look like in an Old Navy jacket after the revolution comes and we’re beheaded for wearing an Old Navy jacket.”)
3. Hobo Signs: part 1, part 2, part 3 (“You’d think the symbol for ‘man with gun’ would have something at least vaguely resembling a man or a gun. This looks more like the symbol for ‘moose in a tent.’”)
4. Canadian Snack Foods (“It’s like really gross food, only made by Jesus.”)
5. Apes and Monkeys (“Excuse me, Mr. Rampaging Killer? Why don’t you put down the gun and take a look at this hand-held monkey?”)

Reasons I Love Britain Nos. 16,354 & 16,355

Published on December 18, 2009 in Collage sheets and General. 0 Comments Tags: .

No. 16,354: Is this getting press anywhere outside the UK? Every year in Britain there is a publicised battle for the number one Christmas hit single, as judged by sales. For the past several years, the battle has been easily won by the winner of the X Factor. This year, one couple got so sick of Simon ‘Twat’ Cowell’s merchandising machine that they started a Facebook campaign encouraging people to go out and buy ‘Killing In The Name’ by Rage Against The Machine instead of whatever dreck the X Factor happens to churn out. You remember ‘Killing In The Name’ – it’s the one with the repeated refrain “Fuck you! I won’t do what you tell me!” Awesome. And as of right now, Rage Against The Machine are beating [X Factor schlock-monger whose name I can’t be bothered to look up] by 60,000 singles. OH YEAH. I am SO buying a copy. Fight the good fight!

No. 16,355: When the credit crunch hit, Radio 4’s flagship Serious News Programme, ‘PM’, introduced a daily segment about the current financial situation. They invited listeners to suggest names for the new feature, and the winner, awesomely, was ‘Upshares, Downshares’. They even started playing a bit of the ‘Upstairs, Downstairs’ theme song to introduce the segment.

At some point, some listener sent in the original version of the theme song, which was played on that evening’s programme. Then someone sent in another version, or their own version, or something – this was also played on the air, with a comment from Eddie ‘Sexy Voice’ Mair saying thanks very much, but please stop sending in new versions of the theme now.

Being the contrary sort (see above), this lit a fire under the British public, and the homemade versions started pouring in in their thousands. The BBC conceded defeat, and now every day they feature a new listener-contributed interpretation of the theme (keep in mind this is the Straight-Faced News Programme, during which Eddie Mair REGULARLY causes experienced politicians to stutter in desperation during interviews). Recent styles have included retro-futuristic disco synth-pop, mariachi, traditional hand bells, and a lovely rendition tonight on an Irish bouzouki (different from the Greek bouzouki in having a flat instead of a rounded back. Apparently). This coming Monday the programme is featuring an interview with the composer of the ‘Upstairs, Downstairs’ theme, in which they will play him several of the versions sent in by the listeners.

How utterly, delightfully bonkers. THIS COUNTRY.

More gift tags…see my Etsy shop for details…

Literary Spiders Necklace by geelizzie

Published on October 29, 2009 in Collage sheets and General. 0 Comments

I was chuffed to bits to spot this wicked cool pendant created by geelizzie using one of my collage sheets. I love feeling like I’m part of a collaborative artistic process – it’s one of my favourite things about Etsy.

I’ve done a whole whack of new collage sheets recently – luckily my husband has been VERY PATIENT with my endless, endless, endless clickity-clicking on my laptop every evening. I swear I’m starting to dream in Photoshop. Here are a couple of my favourites – check out my Etsy shop for details.


Vintage Ladies in Corsets


Vintage Alphabet


Moons and Stars

Don Cherry, you daft racist

Published on October 5, 2009 in Collage sheets. 0 Comments Tags: .

Heads up for a bit of Canadian culture! Don Cherry, as the canucks among you will know, is an institution. He’s been presenting Hockey Night In Canada since dinosaurs first roamed the earth on skates. Having grown up in a non-hockey-watching family, I have only vague memories of Don Cherry. I remember him being loudly dressed and a bit shouty and incoherent, but somehow I didn’t take in the fact that he is completely, utterly and irrevocably divorced from reality. If you have any love of comedy at all, hie ye hence and watch the shit out of Don Cherry’s Christmas rant on Coach’s Corner. I guarantee that it will be one of the most puzzling and diverting six minutes of your life. Here’s my listy breakdown of the best bits:

1. “We love Santa, but let’s not be silly.” (0:55)
2. Ron MacLean’s carefully blank expression. How that man has kept a straight face all these years I do not know. He should be knighted or something. (1.40-2.51)
3. “He broke the code! He broke the code!” (1.44)
4. Don’s total inability to sit still and be quiet when Ron finally manages to get a word in edgewise. He looks like he’s about to explode and scatter bits of insanity and red velour over a wide area. (3.05)
5. “Now let’s talk about some GOOD GUYS.” (5.47)
6. “SHOW THE NEXT ONE!” (5.58)

And if you enjoyed that (and who wouldn’t???), you might also enjoy Don complaining about how women at hockey games are always ruining things for everyone by getting hit in the face by the puck. God bless your crazy, crazy bigoted soul, Don Cherry!

Here are a few new collage sheets – visit my Etsy shop for purchase details.


Pretty Birds – images measure 3.5”x2.5”, ideal for ATC/ACEOs


Autumn Trees – images measure 3.5”x2.5”, ideal for ATC/ACEOs


Grunge Vintage Books – images measure 3.5”x2.5”, ideal for ATC/ACEOs