Monthly Archive for April, 2009

The Owl Service

On Sunday I spent the whole day in flip-flops for the first time this year – yay! It’s been rainy and miserable again this week, of course, but you can’t ask too much of the English weather. I was just happy to be outdoors. I even got some gardening done, despite my overwhelming urge to do absolutely nothing all weekend but lie on the sofa. (If there’s one deadly sin I’ve got covered, it’s Sloth.) My herb and flower bed is doing very well (I planted a couple of sunflower seeds I saved from last year’s flowers, and I’ve now spotted two sprouts), and we’ve already had a crop of lettuces. Our garlic and spring onions are nearly ready to harvest, and we’ve got potatoes, chives, beets, peas and cabbages planted. We’re a long way from being proper gardeners, but it’s very satisfying to see our meagre efforts bear fruit. Or vegetables, as it were.

The rapeseed fields around the house are all in bloom, too, which is lovely, but does lead me to make unfortunate remarks like, “Isn’t rape season nice!” and “Mmm – I can smell the rape!” I can see why they decided to call it ‘canola’ in North America. Much less likely to cause misunderstandings.

Here’s a new collage based on public domain images of an owl amulet and a Grecian column (Doric? Ionic? Bionic?). I’ve called it ‘The Owl Service’, based on the book, which probably no one but me has ever read. I read it when I was about twelve – I think my mom probably picked it up in a charity shop. It was a sort of supernatural thriller about a family who inherited an antique dinner service with an abstract pattern that would match up to be owls if you held the plates up edge to edge, and then…somehow the owl spirits got loose and started haunting the place? Or something? Wow, what a weird book. I remember it being very spooky, when I was twelve. Anyway, I like the name.

Unmistakable voices

TODAY’S LIST – my top five most unmistakable voices in rock and roll:

1. Björk
2. David Bowie
3. Tom Waits
4. Elvis Costello
5. Ozzy Osbourne

Edited to add: Bob Dylan, Robert Plant, Leonard Cohen…oh, and not to forget Freddie Mercury…ARGH! Must…stop…

Who else do you reckon is a totally unmistakable vocalist? Let’s have some rock and roll feedback, dudes!

Things, revisited

TODAY’S LIST: things, revisited, that were even better than I remembered them…

1. Galaxy Quest. I hadn’t seen this in donkey’s years, and I recently watched it again, and HA! It is so brilliant! It’s a great send-up of Trekkie culture, but even if you were never into the whole Star Trek thing (though I have to admit shamefacedly that I was, before I found better things to do, like having sex), it’s still totally accessible. Even Tim Allen is fantastic in this movie, and I admit to generally finding him about as amusing as a crotch full of bees. Tony Shalhoub of course is awesome, and Sam Rockwell is enjoyable as the ‘extra’ who is convinced he’s going to get killed, because that’s what happens to extras in sci fi shows, right? (Hey, whatever happened to Sam Rockwell? He was everywhere for a while, and then he dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe the sell-by date on his ‘braying spazzo’ schtick expired.) I never understood why Galaxy Quest didn’t get more attention when it came out – although it probably had something to do with the trailer, which was basically thirty seconds of Tim Allen running away from CG aliens. DON’T get me started on inaccurate movie trailers. DO go watch Galaxy Quest.

2. The Stone Roses’ first album. Simon recently unearthed a big bag of old cassette tapes from somewhere, and I pinched a few to play in my car. I hadn’t heard any Stone Roses in ages, and dang if it doesn’t have me thumping my steering wheel on my way to work. So jingly-jangly! Such pretty harmonies! Although I could really do without the half hour of noodling at the end of Waterfall. The first five minutes are great, but when they start playing the guitar track backward I generally hit the fast forward button.

3. The Witches of Eastwick (original book version). As far as I know, this is the only John Updike book I’ve ever read. I guess I should amend that, especially since he just died, and has therefore automatically gained at least five credibility points (ONLY KIDDING). I hadn’t read WoE in, oh, probably fifteen years? and the only thing I really remembered about it was that it was nothing at all like the film (like, at ALL). I do really like the film (especially Jack Nicholson’s monologue in the church: “Why is it that when we screw up, it’s called evil, but when GOD screws up, it’s called ‘nature’?”), but the book is much more mature and complex and subtle. Updike writes women well, and there are some interesting ideas in the book about female power. His prose is a bit…acrobatic – you either like his style or you don’t – but one way or another it’s impressive.

4. The Kids in the Hall. Sadly, virtually unknown over here in England. I was feeling nostalgic the other day and treated myself to the complete box set on impulse. I really hadn’t watched any KITH since I was a kid, and DAMN I’m enjoying it (especially season 2). It’s manically surreal in an almost British way, if you know what I mean. (And that’s a compliment, comedy-wise.) “People don’t respect me because they know I got the monkeys. They respect me because they know I’ll let the monkeys loose.”

TA-DAAAA!

I don’t know where I heard this story, but it’s brilliant: someone was teaching a class of children about Easter. She asked the kids what Jesus did when he came back from the dead. One of the kids suggested that “He went – ‘TADAA!’” Ha! Brilliant.

On the same theme, Simon and I were driving to his father’s place in Wales a couple of years ago on Good Friday. Simon tends to drive at rather rapid speeds, and I had occasion to remark, “Please slow down. You’re going to kill us.” (I say this a lot.)

“That’s OK,” Simon said. “It’s Good Friday. We’d be back again in three days.”

Happy Easter!

Happy Birthday to me

I had a very civilised birthday celebration last weekend, as was fitting for my thirty-first birthday – my first official birthday in my thirties. Simon keeps trying to make me feel bad about my age, because he’s sweet that way, but of course he’s really just jealous because he is closer to forty than thirty. Over halfway to seventy, in fact! Anyway, until I’m actually infirm I can’t be bothered to moan and fret over, you know, the chronological passage of time. Time will do that. Darn the whole concept of a temporal existence, eh? It’s a bastard.

We had a few friends round for the evening and had a raclette supper. Raclette is like a Swiss version of fondue. It’s a mini-grill you put at the centre of the table, with a round hotplate on top and four individual grill trays that slide underneath – they’re meant to be used for a particular type of cheese, but you can use them to make omelettes or whatever you like. Simon bought loads of different kinds of fish, meat and veggies, chopped everything up and set out a couple of bowls of spice blends, and we just picked what we fancied, seasoned it how we liked, and popped it on the raclette. It was like a very small indoor barbeque. And who doesn’t love a barbeque? Sad, lonely, deeply troubled people, that’s who.

Simon also proved his husbandly credentials by giving me not one but THREE antique Art Deco watches, and a silver jewellery box to keep them in. Good work, lad!