This is a lazy, lazy post: a list made up of other lists. These are some of my favourite McSweeney’s lists. (I have a big website crush on McSweeney’s. McSweeney’s is cool.)
1. Things Not Overheard at a Conceptual-Art Gallery Opening (“Well, that’s obvious, but what do the other three midgets represent?”)
2. Actual Superheroes From the Pages of International and Obscure Comic Books Who Are Unlikely to See Their Origin Stories Developed Into Movies (“Canadian Ninja”)
3. My Attempt to Further Depress a Particularly Unfunny List, Sent to Me by Someone at Work, by Making Random Remarks (“Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S&M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag. This would make an interesting TV sitcom.“)
4. YouTube Comment or e.e. cummings? (“stunned. i. am. stunned. every question speaks to us”)
5. Things Koala Bears Would Say (“No, you’re the cutest ever.”)
6. Terrible Poetry Jokes (“POUND (to Whitman): Shut the fuck up.”)
…and some of my favourite Book of Ratings lists. (O Lorre! Whither have you departed? Come back and carry on rating my world!)
1. The A-Team (“If you’re going to name yourself after a body part, make it one you can hit people with.”)
2. Artificial People (“Remove their heads so we can see what we’d look like in an Old Navy jacket after the revolution comes and we’re beheaded for wearing an Old Navy jacket.”)
3. Hobo Signs: part 1, part 2, part 3 (“You’d think the symbol for ‘man with gun’ would have something at least vaguely resembling a man or a gun. This looks more like the symbol for ‘moose in a tent.’”)
4. Canadian Snack Foods (“It’s like really gross food, only made by Jesus.”)
5. Apes and Monkeys (“Excuse me, Mr. Rampaging Killer? Why don’t you put down the gun and take a look at this hand-held monkey?”)
#1 is my favourite.