Tag Archives: food

They tell us that we lost our tails

1. My job has changed. About six months ago my company launched a new DIY automated online system that has replaced our custom yearbook design service (robots stole my job!). There’s still some design work to be done, but after the system was rolled out I spent a good four months expecting to be handed my walking papers at any moment, which was fun. In the end they combined my design role with some administrative duties relating to the new system. This means I get to do less design work (boo!), but I still have a job (yay!), and they let me keep the word ‘designer’ in my job title for the sake of my CV. All in all, not the end of the world.

How-EVER, as part of the new role I’ve had to move away from my lovely quiet desk in the corner of the studio down to the other end of the building to sit with the sales and customer service team. I’ve gone from listening to headphones all day and talking to other human beings almost never to being bombarded with questions and surrounded by sales types making loud enthusiastic sales calls. For my introvert brain, this is the equivalent of being hit with a baseball bat all day. I hope the person who invented open-plan offices hasn’t died yet because I’d like the honour of murdering them in front of their children.

The worst part is that my new team are of the “make a round of tea for everyone” persuasion. I’ve resisted so far. I make tea for no man.

On the plus side, the canteen down this end of the building has a SOFA. La-di-da.

2. The Actual Human Male I was dating turned out to be an Actual Human Nightmare. When I broke up with him (for much better reasons than I usually break up with people), he actually slut-shamed me. How retro! That shit never gets any less depressing. (Not that it’s relevant, but his sexual history was way more extensive than mine. WHORE.) Back to Tinder, I guess, speaking of depressing. Bring on the snowboarding photos.

3. I’ve taken down my online shop and will be selling my collage sheets exclusively through Etsy from now on. The shop wasn’t making many sales (due entirely to my laziness) and I honestly have no idea how to even begin to comply with the new EU restrictions on selling digital items. Etsy does all that legal foofaraw for me, so I’m going to focus my attention there. My homepage currently looks like crap, but I’m working on polishing it up into more of a portfolio site.

4. Thanks to dooce for reminding me how appallingly cruel the dairy industry truly is (please go ahead and click – there’s no graphic content). I was vegan for a few years, quite happily, and only went back to eating vegetarian when I moved to the UK and my life exploded into chaos. I know that preaching about veganism usually has the opposite of the desired effect, but if I can gently prod you into eating less dairy for the sake of your health and the wellbeing of sweet innocent giant-eyed baby cows, I’ll feel like I’ve accomplished something. I’m going to commit to at least one dairy-free day a week. Could you manage the same? Look at those eyes! LOOK AT THEM!

Oh God the eyes

5. Here’s some art I made. These are the three Norns (or Fates) from Norse mythology, represented as religious icons using Victorian graphics in the style of Andy Warhol silkscreen pop art. Just because.


Up for a laugh

1. Over the weekend I was polishing up my windows in anticipation of a flat inspection (last time the report rating was ‘immaculate’, of which I am inordinately proud, GO ME), and my blinds fell down. This is not surprising since a) they cost £6; b) they didn’t come with any rawlplugs – just plain old screw hooks; and c) the plain old screw hooks were screwed into a half-inch of crappy moulded plaster ceiling, and not into the cement or whatever underneath. Basically those blinds were always going to fall down. I could (should) have a) bought some better screw hooks with rawlplugs and/or b) bought a masonry drill bit to get the screws more securely into the ceiling, but I was like “Eh, bored now” so instead I covered the inadequate screws (and my fingers) with crazy glue and just screwed ’em back into the knackered existing holes. Job done. DIY for girls!

(Five days later and the blinds are STILL UP so obviously my solution was GENIUS.)

2. I would not recommend the £1 swiss roll at Sainsbury’s. I was all “Swiss roll for a pound, I’d be crazy not to!” but then I had one slice and it was so cardboardy I threw the rest away. And believe me, when it comes to cake, I am not fussy. FALSE ECONOMY.

3. I’ve tentatively joined an online Meet Up group for thirty-somethings in Cambridgeshire. Why yes I AM that desperate. I’m feeling sort of maddeningly isolated lately. I know plenty of folks in far-flung and glamorous locales – Calgary! Portsmouth! Kilburn! – but I’ve never stayed anywhere long enough to build up a proper group of friends in one place (since age twenty, the longest I’ve lived in a single town/city is three years) (!!!), plus now I don’t drink, plus I live in HUNTINGDON, which is not exactly a hotbed of kindred spirits (popular pastimes in Huntingdon include being suspicious of the European Union, mistaking the Sun for a news source, and wearing athletic gear whilst not engaged in any athletic activity). When I go to my local I feel like an anthropologist.

So I’ve joined this group. Odds are pretty slim I’ll actually go to any of the meetings. I somehow doubt that I’ll have anything in common with the sorts of people who go to arranged meet-and-greets in All Bar One (I envisage a crowd of Radio 1 listeners who would describe themselves as “up for a laugh” *shudder*); and besides that I am officially The Worst at mingling and would rather put a pork chop around my neck and make friends with a crocodile than socialise with a room full of strangers. But I am half tempted to put myself through it if only to have something to make fun of on this blog besides telly I’ve watched. I suffer for my art.

4. From my new favourite Tumblr, Design Jargon Bullshit: “Our strategists developed positioning that angled this curatorial expertise to the forefront of the new brand.” Well OBVIOUSLY.

Happy Fun Time Noodle Town, plus FF

Last Sunday I made a long overdue trip to Cho Mee, or as I call it, ‘Happy Fun Time Noodle Town’. Cho Mee is a Chinese/Malaysian supermarket on Mill Road in Cambridge, and O! ‘tis a magical place! One of the (tragically few) things I really, really miss about living in Canada is the abundance of Asian shops and good Asian food. (Er, when I say ‘Asian’ I mean it in the North American sense, i.e. the Far East: Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese etc; in England ‘Asian’ means ‘Indian Subcontinent’. It’s all very confusing. English folks tend to say ‘Oriental’ but to me that feels squickily like something your Racist Nan would say. Although even the phrase ‘Far East’ is totally west-centric. ANYWAY.) A Korean supermarket has recently opened across the street from Cho Mee, so I went there too for good measure.

And I spent WAY too much money. My resistance is weak. So many kinds of soy sauce! Dried mushrooms! Fermented bean pastes! Baffling snack products adorned with manic bug-eyed cartoon creatures of indeterminate derivation! And noodles. Noodles upon noodles. So. Many. Noodles. (I am rather a fan of noodles.)

I ended up with:
– An absolutely ginormous tub of light miso paste (for only like £2.50! DUDE!!!!! ).
– Bonito flakes. I’ve already got some kombu in the cupboard, so now I can make proper dashi stock. BOO YEAH.
– White pepper – for the ol’ egg fried rice.
– Some really nice cabbage kimchi. Many people seem to find kimchi disgusting. I don’t understand this. It is pure pickled happiness as far as I’m concerned.
– Super fine Japanese thread noodles.
– Three different kinds of Shin Ramyun instant noodles. Asian instant noodles are the shiznit, for reals. Cook them up with lots of veg and wakame seaweed and beat an egg in right at the end. You’ll thank me.
– Golden Mountain sauce – a seasoned soy-based sauce. With awesome packaging. I’m glad to see that the cultural stereotype of the moustachioed chef has reached all the way to Thailand.
– My favourite Chinese incense, which I hadn’t been able to find since I left Canada. It’s a very light, slightly sweet sandalwood. And it comes in packages of like EIGHT HUNDRED BILLION sticks for three quid. Honour your ancestors in bulk!
– Tofu tofu tofu.
– Fresh chilies and ginger.
– Big fuck off bag of dried mushrooms.
– Big fuck off bottle of Sriracha chili sauce – the most mindblowingly delicious hot sauce in the world. Truly the Cadillac of chili sauces.

It has been party time in my mouth all week, I can tell you. I think tomorrow I’ll do me up some miso-marinated grilled tofu. Whoops I just dribbled all over my keyboard.

And now! Folksy Friday comin’ atcha! No theme again this week – just a theme of PURRRRTY.

Steampunk Khaki Vamp Skirt, by Gaia Noir Tiny Needle Case, by The Juicy Fig
Vintage Cherries Ring, by Ruby Spirit Squirrel Book Print, by Inkmeup
Angel of Remembrance Handmade Angel Wings, by Camberwell Beauty 3 Rosebud Pink Flowers, by hmsdesign&ffflowers